When people talk about life purpose, it’s often in terms of something specific and concrete: a career, a calling, a cause. We’re taught to search for that one thing we’re meant to do, as if purpose is a single thread we need to find and follow. But over the years I’ve come to see purpose differently.
I’ve also shared these reflections in a short video, if you prefer to listen or watch. You might like to pause here and take it in before reading on.
At its heart, I believe we all share the same essential life purpose:
to become the fullest, truest version of ourselves.
To grow into who we already are at the deepest level.
To live with integrity, aligned with our values, and in a way that brings meaning – not only to ourselves, but to those around us.
In other words, our shared life purpose is to self-actualise.
But here’s the key: while the essence of our purpose may be the same, the expression of it will look different for each of us.
For one person, it might mean starting a movement or building a business.
For another, it might mean raising children with compassion, or tending a garden, or creating art that no one else sees.
For someone else, it might mean learning to live gently with chronic illness, or showing up for others in quiet, unnoticed ways.
None of these expressions are more valid than the others. Each one is a unique and authentic unfolding of the same deeper purpose: becoming more fully ourselves.
The Problem with External Definitions of Purpose
Much of the messaging around life purpose focuses on doing something outwardly impressive. But when we define purpose solely by outcomes – especially visible or material ones – we risk missing the point entirely.
Living with purpose doesn’t always lead to success, recognition, or ease. In fact, it may lead us away from conventional success altogether. For me, living with integrity has meant making sacrifices: choosing part-time work to make space for reflection and creativity, living with my parents while navigating mental health challenges, and letting go of some of the things our culture sees as milestones – like home ownership or financial freedom.
Yet these choices have allowed me to live in closer alignment with what matters most to me. And that, to me, is the very definition of purpose.
Self-Actualisation Is Not a Destination
The term self-actualisation often conjures up an image of arrival – as if one day, we’ll finally become our “best self” and stay there. But in reality, self-actualisation is a process. It’s an ongoing journey of deepening self-knowledge, alignment, and growth.
And it’s not always a straight line.
We don’t all have the same resources, opportunities, or health. Life will pull us off course at times. But even in those moments, the invitation remains the same: to return to what feels true. To make choices that honour who we are becoming, even when the road is quiet, meandering, or hard to explain.
A Shared Purpose, Many Expressions
So yes – perhaps we do all have the same life purpose.
But it’s not a job title.
It’s not a mission statement.
It’s not a five-year plan.
It’s something far deeper:
To become more fully and courageously ourselves.
To live in alignment with our values.
To bring our whole selves to the world, in whatever way we can.
That purpose might not make headlines. It might not lead to a bestseller or a TED talk. But it will lead to a life that feels meaningful from the inside out. And that, in the end, is the kind of success that truly matters.
Reflective questions
- What does living in alignment with your values look like for you right now?
- In what quiet or unseen ways have you expressed your deepest self lately?
- How has your understanding of life purpose shifted over time?