When Life Doesn’t Add Up

A contemplative woman sits beneath a tree, lost in thought, beside a large, faded image of an elderly man labelled “Book of Job.” The scene, painted in warm, muted tones, evokes a quiet dialogue across time - reflecting on suffering, wisdom, and the search for meaning.

What Ancient Wisdom Can Teach Us About Purpose and Control

We’ve all been sold stories -stories that tell us that if we just follow the steps, believe hard enough, or align with a higher purpose, our lives will unfold beautifully. That success will follow. That transformation is inevitable.

But what if that’s not always true?

The dangers of survivorship bias

In the previous post, I wrote about the dangers of survivorship bias – how self-help formulas often only highlight those who “made it” while erasing the many who followed the same path but didn’t end up with shiny results. And I’ve explored the discomfort I felt during a course when I encountered the idea that aligning with divine support guarantees transformation. It’s a lovely idea – but it doesn’t reflect the full complexity of life as I’ve come to understand it.

Insights from ancient wisdom

More recently, I found myself returning to the Book of Job – an ancient story that feels startlingly relevant in our era of curated success and spiritualized self-improvement.

Job, as you may recall, was a righteous man who lost everything: his wealth, his health, even his children. His friends insisted that he must have done something wrong. That suffering surely meant failure. But Job held his ground. He refused to accept that pain was a sign of guilt or that success was proof of righteousness.

In many ways, the Book of Job is a bold counter-narrative – one that challenges the idea that we’re always in control or that our lives are a reflection of our worthiness. It’s a reminder that bad things happen to good people. That integrity and hardship can coexist. That sometimes, there is no tidy arc or comforting explanation.

I explore this in the video below, where I reflect on how the story of Job speaks to the complexity of life, spiritual surrender, and soul-aligned living.

Is life a meritocracy?

What’s striking to me is how enduring this question is. From ancient wisdom texts to modern personal development, we keep wrestling with the same theme: Is life a meritocracy? Are we blessed because we are good? Or is there a deeper, messier, more mysterious story unfolding?

The version of the divine we encounter in Job is not a cosmic vending machine. It does not reward performance or punish failure in predictable ways. In fact, Job never gets a clear answer. What he receives instead is a kind of awe – a confrontation with the vastness of life and its untameable complexity.

That’s a different kind of spirituality. One that doesn’t promise control but invites surrender. One that doesn’t measure success in outcomes, but in faithfulness – to your values, to your truth, to your soul’s calling.

It’s easy to get pulled into the orbit of “manifestation,” of believing that if you can just align your vibration or intentions, the universe will reward you. And for some, that language might resonate. But for me, it’s always felt too tidy. Too transactional. And the truth is – it doesn’t actually work. At least, not in any consistent or reliable way. Life doesn’t hand out blessings in proportion to how well we visualize or how deeply we believe or what a “good” person we are. I’ve known too many thoughtful, courageous, soul-aligned people whose lives haven’t turned out the way they hoped. Not because they were doing something wrong – but because life doesn’t always follow a neat script.

A loss of faith

And when those promises don’t deliver – when transformation doesn’t arrive “inevitably” – it can leave people not just disappointed but devastated. It can shake their sense of trust in life, in themselves, even in whatever they call God. The subtle message becomes: “You must not have aligned deeply enough. You must not have believed hard enough.” Which, to me, feels like a spiritualized version of the same old meritocracy. And just like Job, people are left sitting in the ashes, trying to make sense of what went wrong – when maybe nothing did.

Honouring reality

The Job story helps me honour the realities that many people face – loss, illness, unexpected twists that no amount of planning or alignment can prevent. It reminds me that the deeper task is not to control life, but to remain true to ourselves within it.

So, when I talk about the future now, I’m not asking: “How can I guarantee success?” I’m asking: How can I live with integrity in the face of uncertainty? How can I build a life I respect – even if it doesn’t go to plan?

That, to me, is a more soulful path.

To ponder

  • Have you ever felt disillusioned by promises of transformation or success? How did you navigate that?
  • What helps you stay true to yourself when life doesn’t go the way you’d hoped?
  • Does the story of Job- or another ancient story – offer you a sense of perspective or comfort?

If this piece resonated with you, you’ll find more like it in the Soulful Living & Inner Growth themed book reviews – gentle reflections on staying true to yourself, navigating uncertainty, and cultivating meaning from the inside out.

The Guide

A richly textured, dreamlike illustration of the Guide archetype. A large female figure in profile, with a calm, focused expression, is adorned with celestial and navigational symbols - compasses, star charts, and wheels - integrated into her elaborate headdress. She holds an open book from which a spiralling path made of text flows outward, winding through a surreal landscape. On the path below, two small human figures walk together toward a distant, robed figure in the mist. The background evokes an ethereal sky, blending stars, maps, and organic forms, symbolizing wisdom, direction, and the journey of self-discovery.

Continuing the series of Alternative Archetypes, meet The Guide archetype who serves as a calm and steady presence in a chaotic world- offering direction without dominance, clarity without control. Rooted in humility, Guides walk alongside others, helping them discern their way forward. They draw on lived experience, frameworks, and deep listening to empower people to navigate complexity with confidence. In contrast to healers or changemakers, Guides focus not on fixing or leading, but on equipping others to find their own way. Whether through coaching, parenting, mentoring, or community work, Guides bring tools, insight, and compassionate questioning. Their light shines brightest when they remain in the background- fostering growth, independence, and resilience. In today’s world of overload and overwhelm, the Guide’s gifts are more needed than ever.

Watch the extended video for a more in-depth look at this archetype, including insights that go beyond the written page.

The Healing & Service pathway

The Healing & Service-Oriented archetypes embody the human impulse to support, guide, and restore balance – whether through personal healing, community service, or the transformation of collective wounds. These archetypes remind us that healing is not only about curing ailments but about fostering wholeness in ourselves, others, and the world. They work in different ways, from the deeply personal journey of the Wounded Healer to the broad social vision of the Egalitarian.

Find out more about this pathway

Stay Connected to the Journey

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Sign up for the Alternative Archetypes monthly newsletter and unlock our free Wisdom and Insight archetypes guide – a beautifully illustrated gateway to the archetypes of intuition, insight, and inner light.

Each month you will receive:

  • A round-up of the newly released cards
  • Insights into the meaning behind each archetype
  • Reflections and philosophy from the heart of the project

Big Magic book review

A wooden table filled with painting supplies, including watercolour paints, paint tubes, brushes, a jar of pink-tinted water, and several sheets and notebooks displaying abstract, colourful brushstrokes in vibrant hues like teal, orange, pink, and blue. The scene suggests a creative and expressive art-making process.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic is a luminous call to creative living – boldly, imperfectly, and with a generous heart. Blending soulful insight with playful wisdom, this book encourages us to honour inspiration, embrace fear, and make things simply because we love to. A perfect companion for those seeking to reconnect with their creative spirit.

I’ve just posted a full review of this book on the book review pages.

This review forms part of my Creative & Self-Expressive series – books that celebrate everyday creativity as a path to inner freedom, joy, and wholeness. Whether you’re nurturing a creative habit or simply longing to express yourself more fully, you’ll find gentle encouragement and soulful insight here.

The Problem with the Success Formula

A solitary figure stands on a windswept hill, gazing over a vast, untamed landscape of rolling hills beneath a cloudy sky. Beside them, a weathered wooden signpost points in multiple directions, symbolizing uncertainty and the search for direction.

We’ve all seen it before – the book, the podcast, the YouTube video – that promises a life of success if you just follow these five steps, these seven habits, this one golden rule. And to prove it works, the author rolls out a parade of successful people who supposedly followed the formula and made it big.

But here’s the thing: what about all the people who followed the same formula and didn’t end up successful?

Survivorship Bias: What We’re Not Told

That question sits at the heart of my discomfort with many popular self-help and personal development books. Too often, they rely on something called survivorship bias – a cognitive shortcut where we focus only on the people who “made it” and ignore all the others who didn’t.

There’s a powerful illustration of this from illusionist Derren Brown. In one of his experiments, he gave a person a “winning formula” for betting on horses. Over a series of races, the person kept winning and was convinced they’d stumbled onto something amazing. But then Brown revealed the trick: he’d given the same formulas to lots of different people, and only showed the one who, by sheer chance, ended up winning. The rest – the far more numerous rest – disappeared from the narrative.

That’s how so many of these success stories work. They’re compelling, polished, and hopeful – but they don’t tell the whole story. And when we internalize them, we can start to feel that if we don’t succeed, it must be our fault. Maybe we didn’t believe hard enough. Maybe we didn’t follow the formula to the letter. Maybe we just weren’t “meant” for success.

If you’d rather listen than read, I’ve shared this reflection in a short video below—it follows the same thread, offering a gentle space to pause and consider these ideas.

The Hidden Cost of These Narratives

But life is more complex than that. People come from vastly different starting points, carry different traumas and responsibilities, and face very real structural and situational barriers. A single path, no matter how well-marketed, can never fit everyone.

This is one of the reasons I don’t read autobiographies. Too often, they’re written with the benefit of hindsight, edited into a tidy arc with a satisfying resolution. The messy middle – the detours, doubts, dead ends – is smoothed over or reframed as inevitable steps on the path to greatness.

Why Life Doesn’t Follow a Formula

I’ve come to believe that we each have a different path – not necessarily leading to fame or fortune, but to meaning, integrity, and alignment with who we truly are. That kind of success isn’t built on formulas. It’s cultivated through deep listening, slow unfolding, and a willingness to live your own questions rather than rush to someone else’s answers.

If you’ve ever felt like you were doing all the right things but still not getting where you wanted to go, know this: you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re just human – and you deserve an approach that honours that.

Coming Up in This Series

If you’ve ever felt uneasy with the self-help world’s shiny promises or found that life doesn’t always reward your best efforts, you’re not alone. In the coming posts, I’ll be exploring what happens when life doesn’t add up the way we were told it would – and how ancient wisdom, lived experience, and psychological research offer us a more grounded, compassionate path forward. From questioning the meritocracy of “manifestation” to reimagining what life purpose really means, this series invites you to step away from the formulas and reconnect with your own inner compass. It’s a journey toward a more soulful kind of success – one rooted not in outcomes, but in integrity, meaning, and becoming more fully yourself.

Introducing a New Archetype: The Medicine Person

A mystical and richly detailed mixed-media style image of a Medicine Person. They wear a ceremonial robe adorned with herbs, feathers, and natural symbols, and hold a bowl of green plants emitting ethereal light. Behind them is a celestial background with a large bird in flight, a full moon, and sacred geometric patterns. Around the figure are scenes of people sitting by fires, engaged in ritual or healing practices, with earthy textures, plants, and spiritual motifs woven throughout the composition. The image evokes ancient wisdom, nature-based healing, and spiritual connection.

I’m thrilled to unveil the latest addition to the Alternative Archetypes series: The Medicine Person -a figure of ancient wisdom reborn for modern times.

In cultures around the world, medicine people have long served as healers, seers, and spiritual guides – those who walk between the worlds to restore harmony where there is fragmentation. The Medicine Person archetype emerges not only in shamans and traditional healers, but in anyone who brings soul-level care to their community, weaving together emotional, spiritual, ecological, and physical wellbeing.

At a time when so many are experiencing burnout, disconnection, and imbalance, this archetype reminds us that healing is not a solo journey. It is a relational, reciprocal process rooted in reverence – for nature, for spirit, for community, and for the unseen web that connects us all.

This archetype is part of the Healing & Service Path and calls forth qualities like compassion, presence, ritual wisdom, and integrity. You might see the Medicine Person in a hospice nurse, a forest therapy guide, a community elder, or a trauma-informed coach. Their tools vary – but their essence is the same: to bring wholeness where there is hurt, and to honour the sacred in the everyday.

Want to go deeper? Explore the full archetype description, including a soulful video that brings the Medicine Person to life.

Man’s Search for Meaning

A solitary figure stands by a large window, gazing out at a sunlit landscape. The dark interior contrasts with the warm golden light outside, symbolizing reflection and hope

Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is more than a memoir – it’s a quietly profound meditation on human dignity, suffering, and the transformative power of purpose. Drawing on his experience in Nazi concentration camps and his pioneering work in existential therapy, Frankl invites us to find meaning not in spite of hardship, but through it. A timeless classic for anyone seeking inner depth and soulful direction.

How to Embrace the Energies of Summer

Sunflowers and tall grass glowing in the warm golden light of a summer sunset, with the sun low in the sky over a peaceful meadow

As the sun reaches its peak and the days stretch long into the evening, summer arrives in a blaze of vitality. In the natural world, this is a time of abundance and fullness. Flowers bloom, crops ripen, and animals move with vigour. It is the height of outward expression –  a season that invites us to live with energy, connection, and wholeheartedness.

But summer isn’t only about activity and achievement. It’s also a time to embody joy, savour the present moment, and align your outer life with your inner truth. In the journey of living purposefully, summer invites you to step into visibility and live what you believe.

Prefer to watch, rather than read – check out the video below


The Energies of Summer

Summer is the season of radiance. After the inward quiet of winter and the shedding of spring’s transitions, summer encourages us to expand  – to share what has been germinating beneath the surface. This is a time for inspired action, creative expression, and meaningful connection.

Spiritually and emotionally, summer reminds us of the value of being present. It’s a time to live fully in your body, in your relationships, and in the moment. If winter is for rest and reflection, and spring for renewal, summer is the season of embodiment  –  a chance to walk your talk and live your purpose with energy and joy.


Activities to Align with Summer’s Energy

To engage with the energy of summer, try weaving the following practices into your days:


1. Take Purposeful Action

Summer invites movement — – but not just any action. Think of the ideas, intentions, or goals that have been quietly forming during the earlier months. What wants to come to life now? Whether it’s launching a new project, hosting a gathering, or sharing your voice more publicly, this is a season for bringing your purpose into form.


2. Celebrate How Far You’ve Come

So often, we rush ahead to the next goal without pausing to acknowledge our progress. Summer reminds us to celebrate – not just achievements, but the journey itself. Reflect on what you’ve learned, how you’ve grown, and what you’re proud of. Celebration can be a powerful form of self-recognition and motivation.


3. Embody Your Values

This is a wonderful time to ask: Am I living in alignment with what I say I value? Let summer be a season where your choices reflect your inner truth. Whether it’s prioritising relationships, spending time in nature, or making work decisions that support your integrity, summer offers a moment to align the inner and outer.


4. Connect with Others

Summer is naturally social –  full of opportunities to gather, collaborate, and commune. Seek out people who energise and uplift you. Deepen relationships that support your growth. Whether through friendship, community, or professional networks, allow connection to be a source of nourishment and purpose.


5. Spend Time in Nature’s Abundance

Being outdoors in summer reminds us of life’s fullness. Sit under a tree. Watch bees gather pollen. Walk barefoot on grass. The natural world offers daily reminders of rhythm, growth, and beauty. Let it mirror your own flourishing – and restore you when the world feels fast or loud.


6. Honour Your Boundaries

With all its energy and invitation, summer can become overwhelming. Don’t feel you need to say yes to everything. Honour your energy and create space for rest and solitude. Just like the sun eventually sets each day, you’re allowed to pause and retreat, even in summer.


7. Infuse Daily Life with Soulfulness

Make space for little rituals: light a candle in the morning, speak gratitude over your meals, listen to music that uplifts you. These small acts ground you in intention and bring a deeper sense of meaning to everyday moments.


Living Soulfully in the Season of Sun

Summer is not just about doing – it’s about being in a way that is fully alive. It asks you to show up, to be visible, and to live in alignment with who you are becoming.

Let it be a time of light and laughter, of bold steps and gentle moments, of wholehearted connection and joyful purpose. When you allow yourself to embody the fullness of summer, you not only celebrate life – you become a living expression of your own deepest truth.

Dark Nights of the Soul

A woman with long dark hair sits quietly at the edge of a still lake under a full moon. She wears a dark cloak and gazes across the water, her reflection visible on the moonlit surface. The night sky is filled with stars, and the surrounding landscape is silhouetted in soft shadow, evoking a mood of contemplation, solitude, and spiritual depth.

In Dark Nights of the Soul, Thomas Moore reframes life’s painful and uncertain moments as soulful initiations. Rather than rushing to fix or escape our darkness, Moore invites us to listen, reflect, and grow through it. Drawing on myth, depth psychology, and spiritual insight, this profound book offers a wise and gentle path for those undergoing emotional, creative, or existential crisis.

Cultivating the Soulful Path

A mixed-media style painting of a barefoot woman walking a golden spiral path through an ancient, symbolic landscape. She wears an earth-toned dress, eyes closed, hand over her heart, radiating serenity and inner knowing. Above her, an ethereal female face watches peacefully from the sky, framed by symbols like the ankh, crescent moon, star, and spirals. Ferns flank the sides, suggesting growth and harmony. The image evokes wholeness, reflection, and the ongoing soul journey.

A Lifelong Conversation with the Soul

The soulful path is not a straight line.

It doesn’t come with a clear map, a five-step plan, or a finish line. It’s more like a spiral – a rhythm of returning, deepening, remembering, and becoming. And the invitation isn’t to arrive, but to cultivate – to tend this way of living, again and again, with presence, care, and inner trust.

This is not a conclusion in the traditional sense. It’s a threshold. A moment to pause and gather what’s been stirred.

Prefer to watch, rather than read? Check out the video below.


Gathering the Threads

Over the course of this series, we’ve explored what it means to live a life infused with soul:

Together, these ideas weave a tapestry – one you can carry with you, reshape, and return to throughout your life.


The Soulful Path Is a Practice

More than anything, this path asks to be practised, not perfected.

That might mean:

  • Taking time each week for reflection or journaling
  • Attuning to an archetype that feels active in your life
  • Honouring small actions that align with your values
  • Making space for silence, creativity, or sacred rest
  • Letting your imagination guide you into new insights

The soulful path isn’t about getting it right. It’s about being in relationship – with your inner life, with the wider world, and with whatever you experience as sacred.


Inner Authority and Gentle Courage

In walking this path, you may not always feel understood. You may find yourself stepping outside the stories that others live by. That can be tender work.

But what you’re doing – listening inward, honouring depth, choosing alignment over appearance – is a quiet act of courage. And the more you live from your own centre, the stronger your inner authority becomes.

This doesn’t mean you always feel certain. Soulful living isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about learning to stay with the questions – and to trust the subtle knowing that often comes not as a shout, but as a whisper.


Let the Archetypes Walk with You

You don’t have to walk alone.

The Alternative Archetypes were created as companions on this journey – each one offering a reflection, a possibility, a pattern of soul. Whether you resonate with The Seeker, The Mentor, The Mystic, The Gardener, or another figure still to come, these archetypes are there to remind you:

You are not the first to walk this path.
You are part of a larger story.

Let these symbolic figures walk with you. Let them show up in your journaling, your choices, your creative work. Let them help you name what you already know but perhaps haven’t fully claimed.


Living the Questions

As we close this series, here are some questions to carry forward:

  • What nourishes your soul, and how can you make more space for it?
  • Which archetypal energies feel most alive in you right now?
  • What does soulful purpose look like in this season of your life?
  • How might you honour the deeper rhythm beneath the surface noise?
  • What are you being asked to tend, protect, or grow next?

Let your answers unfold slowly. There is no rush.


This Is Only the Beginning

While this is the final post in this series, it’s not the end of the journey. You’ll continue to evolve, shift, remember, and rediscover your path in new ways. And you’ll likely return to these ideas when the next crossroads appears.

Keep listening. Keep creating. Keep trusting your way of knowing.

The soulful path is not a fixed track – it’s a living relationship. One that you cultivate with attention, imagination, and heart.


🌿 Explore the Archetypes


If you haven’t already, visit the Alternative Archetypes page to meet the symbolic companions of this work. New archetypes are added regularly, each offering a mirror for your own soulful unfolding.

And if you’d like to keep walking together, you’re warmly invited to subscribe to the monthly Alternative Archetypes newsletter—a quiet space for reflection, meaning-making, and soul connection.

Psychosynthesis Made Easy

A contemplative mixed-media image of a person walking along a forest path at dawn, symbolising the journey of integration and self-discovery. Earth tones and dappled light evoke a sense of quiet inner transformation.

A Gentle Introduction to a Depth-Oriented Psychology of Wholeness

Stephanie Sorrell’s Psychosynthesis Made Easy is a compassionate introduction to a psychology that honours both personality and soul. Grounded in Assagioli’s transpersonal model, the book offers practical tools for inner integration and spiritual growth. With warmth and clarity, Sorrell invites us to meet our many selves and align with a deeper sense of purpose. A soulful companion for seekers, coaches, and anyone craving wholeness.