When the Future Self Doesn’t Quite Fit
I’ve been reflecting recently on a course I took about the “Future Self” – a popular personal development approach that encourages you to envision a bold, successful version of yourself ten years from now, and then make decisions as though you’re already that person. At first, it sounds empowering. But as the course went on, I found myself pulling back.
The final lesson landed with a phrase that made me question this particular approach (which is not that of Benjamin Hardy himself):
“When you align with a higher purpose and know that you are divinely supported, transformation just becomes inevitable.”
If you’d prefer to listen to these reflections- or take them in at a slower pace- here’s a short video version of this post.
A Beautiful Sentiment- But Not the Whole Story
It’s a beautiful sentiment- if it resonates with you. And for some, it might be exactly what they need to hear. But it didn’t quite land for me. Not because I don’t believe in growth or purpose, but because I’ve come to see life in more grounded, more complex terms.
I don’t have an issue with the Future Self approach as a whole. In fact, I think Benjamin Hardy’s work can be genuinely helpful for people who are looking for clarity and structure in moving toward a compelling vision of their lives. Where I diverge is with the idea- sometimes expressed or implied (not by Hardy himself) -that if you align with a higher purpose and believe deeply enough, transformation becomes inevitable.
Integrity Over Inevitable Transformation
In my experience, life doesn’t always follow that neat a path. People can be deeply aligned with their values, faithful to their purpose, and still face enormous challenges or see their plans unravel. That doesn’t mean they were doing it wrong. It just means that life is complex, and not every story fits the arc of certain success. I believe the deeper goal isn’t guaranteed transformation, but integrity: the quiet, grounded commitment to living in alignment with what matters – regardless of the outcome.
Building a Life You Can Stand Behind
For me, the most important thing isn’t to chase an ideal version of myself or to strive endlessly for change. It’s to know myself deeply – and to construct a life that aligns with my values and inner compass. A life I can stand behind. A life that feels honest.
That kind of life isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s often shaped by what we’re willing to let go of.
Choosing Presence Over Performance
These aren’t glamorous choices. They’re not the kind of thing that typically shows up in glossy Instagram posts or TED talks. But they may allow you to live with integrity – a life that feels like yours, even if it doesn’t look like “success” from the outside. . For me, that meant not owning a home, not taking regular holidays, and choosing part-time work so that I have space to make art, walk in nature, and process life at a gentler pace.
I’m aware that not everyone has the same options. I share this not as a prescription, but simply as a reflection on what has allowed me to live more in alignment with what matters to me.
We don’t talk enough about this kind of life. The quiet, soulful life. The life that chooses presence over performance. That honours limitations as much as aspirations. That trades certainty for authenticity.
The Real Work of Staying True
I don’t believe transformation is inevitable. And I don’t believe that if it hasn’t happened for you yet, you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes, holding steady is the most courageous thing you can do. Sometimes, the real work is just staying true to yourself in a world that constantly tells you to be someone else.
That’s the kind of future self I care about-the one who can look back and say:
I lived my life in alignment with what mattered. And that was enough.
