The Illusion of Self-Sufficiency
We live in a culture that glorifies the “self-made” individual. From business moguls to social media influencers, success stories often emphasize personal grit, hustle, and independence. The idea that we must rely on ourselves alone to succeed is deeply embedded in Western thought. This is the myth of individualism—one of the most pervasive and limiting beliefs of the dominant paradigm.
Yet, the truth is that no one is truly self-made. Behind every success story are unseen networks of support, privilege, and social infrastructure. The emphasis on rugged individualism has disconnected us from the communal bonds that have historically sustained human life. In this article, we’ll explore where this myth comes from, how it shapes our lives, and how reconnecting with interdependence can lead to a more fulfilling existence.
If you prefer to listen or watch, I’ve created a short video that brings this message to life – click below to explore the shift from isolation to connection.
Where Did the Myth of Individualism Come From?
The idea that individual effort alone determines success has roots in several historical and cultural shifts:
- The Enlightenment → Western philosophy began prioritizing reason, autonomy, and self-determination.
- The Industrial Revolution → Economic structures shifted from communal village life to competitive labour markets.
- Capitalism & Neoliberalism → The modern economy rewards self-interest and privatization over collective well-being.
- The American Dream → The belief that hard work alone can lead to success, regardless of systemic barriers.
These forces created a worldview that idealizes self-sufficiency while downplaying the role of community, relationships, and shared resources.
How the Myth of Individualism Shapes Our Lives
The belief in self-sufficiency affects how we view success, relationships, and even our sense of self.
1. Loneliness and Social Isolation
- The rise of hyper-individualism has led to widespread disconnection.
- Many people feel ashamed to ask for help, fearing it signals weakness.
- Community structures that once supported people (extended families, neighbourhoods, local organizations) have been eroded by economic and social mobility.
2. The Pressure to “Do It All” Alone
- People are expected to balance work, family, self-care, and personal growth with little communal support.
- Burnout culture thrives when individuals believe they must be entirely self-reliant.
- The stigma around relying on social safety nets (such as healthcare, childcare, or mutual aid) reinforces the illusion that we should be independent.
3. Reinforcing Economic Inequality
- The individualist myth ignores systemic barriers like race, class, and access to resources.
- Success is often attributed to personal effort rather than inherited privilege or social advantages.
- Those who struggle financially or professionally are often blamed for not working hard enough rather than recognized as facing structural challenges.
4. Undermining Collective Action
- Social movements rely on solidarity, yet the dominant paradigm discourages group efforts in favour of personal ambition.
- Political and economic policies reinforce competition rather than cooperation.
- Environmental and social crises require collective solutions, but individualism often leads people to feel powerless and disengaged.
Rethinking Individualism: Embracing Interdependence
Rather than rejecting personal responsibility, rethinking individualism means recognizing the power of interdependence—the reality that we are stronger together than we are alone.
1. Cultivate Community-Oriented Thinking
- Shift from “I” to “we” thinking in personal and professional life.
- Engage in mutual aid and cooperative projects.
- Recognize that seeking help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
2. Strengthen Social Bonds
- Prioritize deep relationships over surface-level networking.
- Reconnect with local communities through volunteering, mentorship, or collective initiatives.
- Create support systems that replace the pressure of self-sufficiency with shared responsibility.
3. Advocate for Systemic Change
- Challenge economic and social policies that prioritize profit over well-being.
- Support cooperative business models, universal basic services, and community-owned resources.
- Recognize that success is not just an individual pursuit but a communal effort.
Final Thoughts: Redefining Success Beyond the Individual
The dominant paradigm has led us to believe that being independent is the ultimate goal, but real fulfilment comes from connection. Recognizing that our lives are interwoven with others can lead to a richer, more sustainable way of living. Instead of striving to be self-sufficient in isolation, we can begin to embrace the truth: we are meant to thrive together.
If this theme resonates with you, you may enjoy my review of Charles Eisenstein’s The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible. Eisenstein explores how the myth of separation underpins our culture of individualism, and how reimagining our world through the lens of interbeing can help us move toward connection, meaning, and a more compassionate way of living.
Reflection Questions:
- Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to be self-sufficient?
- Have you ever hesitated to ask for help, even when you needed it? Why?
- How can you begin to cultivate more interdependence in your personal and professional life?
In the next article, we’ll explore another key aspect of the dominant paradigm: the extractive mindset and how it has shaped our relationship with the natural world.
This article is part of the series Beyond the Dominant Paradigm. You can begin the journey with the introductory article.
If you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply, download my free guide Walking the Soulful Path when you sign up for my monthly newsletter.
And if you’re ready to take the next step, the Soulful Path to Life Purpose programme offers a structured way to step outside cultural expectations and reconnect with what truly matters to you.
