This concluding article brings together insights from the five earlier pieces in the series. If you’d like to start from the beginning, visit the introductory page.
Throughout this series we’ve been exploring a profound question: Who do you want to become at the culmination of your life? It’s a question that cuts through the noise of achievement culture and short-term striving. Instead of asking, What do I want to do next? or What should I accomplish this year? it shifts the focus to being rather than doing.
When we begin with the end in mind, we aren’t obsessing over death or creating rigid five-year plans. We are orienting ourselves toward the qualities, values, and ways of being that will allow us to look back on our lives with peace and meaning. This series has offered four complementary lenses for thinking about that journey: Erikson’s Integrity vs. Despair, Maslow’s Self-Actualization, Scott Barry Kaufman’s Self-Transcendence, and Bill Plotkin’s Sage in the Mountain Cave. Each one offers a perspective on what it means to live fully, and together they create a rich tapestry for reflection.
In this concluding article, we’ll draw those threads together, exploring what they have in common, how they differ, and what they might mean for your own path.
Integrity vs. Despair – Facing Life with Wholeness
Erik Erikson’s model of psychosocial development concludes with a striking image: in later life, we face the choice between integrity and despair. Integrity arises when we can look back on our lives and accept them as a coherent whole – not perfect, not without regret, but still meaningful and worthwhile. Despair surfaces when we feel overwhelmed by missed opportunities, unresolved conflicts, or a sense that our story has slipped away from us.
The crucial insight here is that integrity is not just an end-of-life concern. We can begin cultivating it now, through practices of reflection, gratitude, and alignment with our values. By living more intentionally, we lessen the risk of future despair. Integrity is about living a story we can own, even when it includes pain or failure. It asks us: What choices today will help me look back with peace tomorrow?
Self-Actualization – Becoming Your Best Self
Abraham Maslow’s concept of self-actualization has long captured the imagination of those interested in growth. At its heart, self-actualization is about becoming who we truly are – expressing our gifts, creativity, and potential in ways that are authentic and life-giving.
This doesn’t mean chasing constant achievement or grand success. For Maslow, self-actualization could be found in creative expression, meaningful work, or small acts of living in alignment with one’s deepest values. He also described “peak experiences” – moments of inspiration, flow, or awe that lift us beyond our ordinary sense of self. These moments remind us of what is possible when we live authentically.
Seen through this lens, beginning with the end in mind means asking: What might my fullest self look like? And how can I honour that potential in small ways today?
Self-Transcendence – Moving Beyond the Self
Scott Barry Kaufman builds on Maslow’s vision, arguing that self-actualization, while important, is not the final destination. True fulfilment comes when we transcend ourselves – when our growth becomes intertwined with compassion, service, and awe.
Kaufman distinguishes between fleeting “peak experiences” and more enduring “plateau experiences.” Peak experiences are the mountaintop highs, while plateau experiences are steady states of connection and meaning that can be cultivated in everyday life. Self-transcendence is about shifting from me to we, recognising that our purpose is not only to express ourselves but to contribute to something larger.
Through this lens, the question becomes: How can my personal growth ripple outward? How can what I’ve become serve others, my community, or even the wider living world?
Becoming the Sage – Offering Wisdom and Presence
Bill Plotkin offers yet another vision of life’s culmination, one rooted in nature-based soul work. In his framework, the final stage of development is the Sage in the Mountain Cave. The Sage is not simply an elder by age, but one who embodies wisdom, perspective, and deep connection with the living world.
The Sage is both rooted and generous. They may spend time in solitude, but their purpose is not withdrawal. Instead, they return from their solitude with insight, compassion, and guidance for the wider community. The Sage reminds us that elderhood is not about clinging to relevance or authority, but about serving with humility and offering perspective that helps others find their way.
Here, beginning with the end in mind asks: What seeds of wisdom am I cultivating now, so that I may become an elder whose presence enriches the world?
Drawing the Threads Together
Each of these four lenses brings its own emphasis. Erikson highlights the acceptance of our life story. Maslow calls us to realise our fullest potential. Kaufman points us beyond ourselves into connection and service. Plotkin invites us into elderhood as Sage, embodying wisdom and kinship with the living world.
Seen together, they sketch a progression:
- Integrity grounds us in honesty about our lives.
- Self-Actualization urges us to grow into our authentic potential.
- Self-Transcendence shows us that real flourishing includes others.
- Sagehood envisions a life offered back as service and guidance.
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But this is not a rigid sequence. At any point in life, we can taste integrity, actualization, transcendence, and sagehood. They are not fixed stages but living invitations, signposts reminding us what matters most.
Beginning with the end in mind does not mean imagining one idealised future self and holding ourselves to it. Instead, it means orienting ourselves toward qualities of being that we know will matter when we look back: wholeness, authenticity, compassion, wisdom.
Living With the End in Mind
So, what might this look like in practice?
- It might mean pausing regularly to reflect: Am I living in line with my values?
- It might mean cultivating creativity and expression, even in small everyday ways.
- It might mean seeking opportunities for service, contribution, or connection.
- It might mean setting aside time for solitude, silence, or communion with nature.
The point is not to master every framework but to allow them to shape how you live now. Each choice made in alignment with integrity, authenticity, compassion, and wisdom becomes part of the story you will one day look back on.
Beginning with the end in mind is not a burden – it is an invitation. It is a way of stepping into life more fully, with the confidence that each step carries you toward a self you will recognise with gratitude and peace.
Journal Prompts for Reflection
1. Integrity and Wholeness
When you imagine looking back on your life many years from now, what do you most want to feel? Write about the choices, values, or relationships that would help you arrive at that moment with a sense of peace rather than regret.
2. Becoming Your Best Self
Think about the qualities or gifts that feel most authentic to you. How might you express these more fully in your daily life, even in small ways? Explore what self-actualization means in your own terms, beyond external measures of success.
3. Moving Beyond the Self
Consider a time when you felt deeply connected to something larger than yourself – perhaps a community, cause, or moment of awe in nature. How did that experience shift your perspective? Reflect on how you might cultivate more of these steady “plateau experiences” in your life.
4. Cultivating Sagehood
Imagine yourself as an elder, offering wisdom and presence to younger generations. What qualities would you hope others see in you? Journal about the practices you could nurture now – such as solitude, listening, or service – that would help you grow into that vision.
5. Drawing the Threads Together
Looking across these four perspectives, which one feels most resonant for you right now? Which feels like a stretch, inviting you toward growth? Reflect on how you might weave them together into a personal vision of who you want to become.
Connecting to the Soulful Path to Life Purpose
The themes explored in this series lie at the heart of the Soulful Path to Life Purpose programme. Each of the four frameworks – integrity, self-actualization, transcendence, and sagehood – points toward a deeper question of how to live in alignment with your true self. The programme takes these big ideas and translates them into a structured, reflective journey: identifying your values, recognising your strengths, exploring your archetypes, and creating meaningful projects that embody who you want to become.
If Begin With the End in Mind has helped you see the larger arc of human growth, the Soulful Path programme offers practical steps for weaving that vision into your daily life. It’s not about chasing someone else’s definition of success, but about cultivating a life you can look back on with integrity, fulfilment, and soulful contribution.
Find out more in the Soulful Path to Life Purpose programme