Who Do You Want to Become?
At the heart of this series is a simple but profound question: who do you want to be at the culmination of your life? Too often we chase short-term goals without considering whether they add up to the person we long to become. Beginning with the end in mind means orienting your daily choices toward a deeper vision of integrity, wisdom, and fulfilment. In this introduction, we set the stage by outlining four frameworks, each offering a unique lens on what it means to live fully and to arrive at life’s later chapters with peace rather than regret.
Reflecting on a Life Well Lived
As psychologist Erik Erikson observed, later life confronts us with a stark choice: can we look back with a sense of integrity, or do we fall into despair over missed opportunities? Integrity is not about perfection – it’s about accepting our story as it is, honouring what has been good, and finding meaning even in struggles. This article explores how to cultivate integrity before old age, by aligning with your values, practising gratitude, nurturing relationships, and taking ownership of your narrative. By engaging with these themes now, you lay the groundwork for a life you can look back on with pride and peace. It invites reflection: what would help me face my own life with fewer regrets and greater wholeness?
Becoming Your Highest Potential
Psychologist Abraham Maslow described self-actualization as the drive to become fully yourself – to express your gifts, creativity, and inner potential. Beyond the basic needs for safety, belonging, and esteem lies the lifelong task of becoming authentic. This article explores what self-actualization looks like in practice: moments of flow, deep creativity, purposeful work, and the courage to live in line with your values. Rather than a one-off destination, self-actualization is an ongoing process, requiring both inner honesty and outward risk-taking. We’ll also consider Maslow’s idea of “peak experiences” – those heightened moments of inspiration – and how they can be cultivated in everyday life. The invitation is simple: what might your best self look like, and how can you honour that potential today?
Going Beyond the Self
Building on Maslow’s work, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman suggests that true fulfilment comes not just from realizing our own potential but from transcending ourselves. Self-transcendence integrates personal growth with contribution, compassion, and awe. Rather than chasing one-off “peak experiences,” Kaufman highlights the value of “plateau experiences” – ongoing states of connection and meaning that arise when we live in alignment with something larger than ourselves. This article explores what it means to shift from “me” to “we”: to see your strengths as resources for others, to cultivate wonder, and to root your purpose in relationship and community. It offers a reframe: self-actualization is not the end of the journey but the doorway into a deeper, more connected way of living.
Embodying Wisdom and Deep Connection
In his work on human development, Bill Plotkin describes the final stage of life as embodying the “Sage in the Mountain Cave.” This archetype represents spiritual maturity, compassion, and kinship with the living world. The Sage is not cut off from life but deeply woven into it -offering perspective, mentoring, and wisdom to younger generations. This article explores practices that nurture sagehood long before old age: solitude in nature, reflection, service, and acceptance of life’s cycles. Becoming the Sage is not about escaping the world, but about inhabiting it more deeply – with humility, humour, and heart. It asks: how might you begin cultivating the seeds of wisdom today, so that later life is marked not by withdrawal but by soulful contribution?
Conclusion: Living With the End in Mind
This final article draws together the four perspectives explored in the series – integrity, self-actualization, self-transcendence, and sagehood – to show how they can guide us toward a life of wholeness, authenticity, and wisdom. It reflects on what these models have in common, how they differ, and what they mean for your own journey, before offering practical prompts and next steps for weaving them into daily life.
Additional Reading
For a complementary perspective, see my review of Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore. While the frameworks above look at fulfilment, wisdom, and self-transcendence, Moore reminds us that times of struggle and uncertainty can also hold deep meaning. His book explores how life’s most difficult passages can become initiations into greater depth and wholeness.